Posted in Uncategorized, tagged cancer, Family, Illness, love, relationships on May 28, 2012| 6 Comments »
Back I go.
Back to waiting rooms, to mindless hours.
Back to aching with tiredness, joints stretched out.
Back to pimples, bags under my eyes.
Back to forms, all with the same information.
Back to everything tasting different, with a metallic edge.
Back to the wet blanket of energy on my shoulders.
Back I go.
x
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Anxiety, australia, Friendship, Health, life, love, Relationship on May 13, 2012| 12 Comments »
If I were a month, I’d be May …. just edging into the change of season.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Wednesday.
If I were a time of day, I’d be 3am … way too early, up all alone.
If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto 😛
If I were an animal, I’d be a wolf.
If I were a direction, I’d be East.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a white cane chair. No, a bookshelf.
If I were a liquid, I’d be acid.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be Onyx.
If I were a tree, I’d be a ghost gum.
If I were a tool, I’d be a spanner? Lol I dunno…
If I were a flower, I’d be a freesia.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be summer rain….
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a piano.
If I were a color, I’d be pink and sparkly.
If I were an emotion, I’d be …um…all of them, all at once.
If I were a fruit, I’d be mixed berries.
If I were a sound, I’d be waves crashing at night.
If I were an element, I’d be Lithium.
If I were a car, I’d be a Mustang.
If I were a food, I’d be strawberries dipped in chocolate.
If I were a place, I’d be a library.
If I were a material, I’d be soft faded denim.
If I were a taste, I’d be musk sticks.
If I were a scent, I’d be just cut grass, and vanilla. And rain on hot pavement.
If I were a body part, I’d be deep, dark eyes.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a quick smile
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be old boots 🙂
Much love xx
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged australia, depression, Family, Friendship, Health, Home, life, love, Parent on May 1, 2012| 9 Comments »
Isn’t it funny how random life can be?
I did something I’m not proud of on Sunday. I completely lost my temper, and pretty much had an adult tantrum. There was yelling, swearing, and some furniture may have been thrown.
Of course this is a Craig post. Sorry.
Let me say, that Craig is the worlds worst procrastinator. And it shits me to tears. He still hasn’t put Bailey on his medicare card for example. It’s been a year.
Part of the arrangement of Bailey and I staying here was that he would help me with practical stuff, and I knew it’d be like pushing shit uphill. What I wasn’t prepared for was the total me, me, me attitude, and him using us having an argument as a reason to not do something for Bailey.
Wouldn’t have picked it, honestly.
So he walks in Sunday, and is rude to me for absolutely no reason, like really no reason, all I’d done is say hi, and asked if he’d received a text. He was totally out of line and I snapped – and I make no apologies for that… He says ‘well I’ll get going then’ and I ask about the shelves he was supposed to put up for Bailey, and the swingset he’s being promising to fix for like 6 months.
I know this is sounding totally petty, bear with me.
‘I’ll do it when it’s convenient for me’
‘Are you serious?’
He confirms that he is, and leaves.
My blood is absolutely boiling, and a little while later I send him a text saying he obviously doesn’t want his stuff, which was strewn all over the front verandah after I did the work packing it and moving it out there, I guess a few weeks ago. He replies back, yes I want it, what are you talking about? And then calls, and I say ‘ Well it’s not really convienient for me having it here’. We have a few choice words, mostly about his total selfishness, and how completely out of line it is to bring doing something for Bailey into being annoyed at me, and how he pisses me off like 80% of the time – but that I’d never, I dunno, stop feeding or playing with or cleaning up after Bailey because of it. He hangs up, so I start ditching his stuff over the railing onto the driveway.
Yep, I know, psycho territory.
“What are you doing Mummy?”
“I think we’ll have a bonfire darling”
“Yaaayyyyyy!”
He calls back, makes a half-assed attempt to smooth things over without taking any responsibility, so I say if he wants to actually talk I’m here. By this time he’s back at his parents, an hour away.
He actually turned around and drove back.
We had dinner and put Bman to bed, and sat down to talk and I was totally blunt about how disappointed I am in his behaviour and attitude, how much he has changed and how if he continues he is going to end up alone, because no-one would put up with that type of bullshit. And that I really, truly think there is something wrong with him. But that even so – I won’t lie down and take it, and as Bailey gets older, neither will he.
I may have pointed out that he’s acting like a spoilt, selfish little prick, and that he needs to grow up.
I wasn’t in the least bit nice, or apologetic, and why the hell should I be really?
He called me today, and asked if we could please talk on Sunday, and said that he thinks he has made a huge mistake. And that he will come up early and do the shelves, and the swing, and any other stuff – of which there is crap-loads.
If I’d known that totally losing my shit would result in some halfway human behaviour, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to hold onto it all this time 😀
Just so unexpected – doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being nice, but I might stick up for myself a little more 😉
x
Posted in Uncategorized on May 1, 2012| 2 Comments »
Hypersensationalism 