Archive for July, 2014

On Divorce

I’m guessing it’ll happen fairly soon, but I still, stupidly, stubbornly, want him to initiate it. This doesn’t seem so much to ask, really. 

I now have a lawyer and a financial advisor and some other woman. I’m quietly devastated. It’s rare to need legal help, rarer to have to request court hearings and ask people to write character references, here. We are starting to pick apart each others lives, to discredit each other, and it kills me. I didn’t want this. I don’t want this. But I want my house and I need my son and we deserve to not live in poverty. Bailey deserves to have a mother at home most of the time and some consistency.

He claims my mental health is a problem, I think him being an asshole hinders him as a parent. I’m too free and easy, he’s rigid, unsympathetic, and detached. Bman’s friends are comfortable here (giggling from the bunk bed as I write) and I know their parents and we’re part of the community, Craig lives with his family and is 10 minutes from his cousins. I rant about chemicals in the water and marijuana prohibition and our failing eduction system, he works a government job. 

I miss the good times so much it’s hard to breathe. I swear he was a good person and we loved each other, and Bailey.

Life changes, and people change with it.


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